5 Ground Rules for a Great Doctor-Patient Relationship

As doctors and patients, we all strive to create the best doctor-patient relationship possible. There are some mutual ground rules that can really make that relationship great.

Bring and presume positive intentions

Patients

Almost every doctor went into medicine to help and heal people. Though there are some bad eggs, just as there are in any profession, you will find that the majority of doctors sincerely want to help you through difficult illnesses, heal you when able, and prevent you from getting sick. Please give them the benefit of the doubt in treating you.

Doctors

Patients want to be healed and they want to be healthy. The patient in pain doesn’t really want to be on opiate medications and the patient who can’t give a good history about what they are feeling still wants to get better. And most patients who forget to take their medications just have a hard time remembering. Patients generally go to doctors for help, so give them the benefit of the doubt during your time with them and presume positive intentions.

Listen to understand, not to respond

Patients

I know you have many questions and medical terminology is not always easy to understand, so I think this rule is really important for patients. First off, listen closely to everything your physician says. When your physician puts you on a new medication, listen to why and what it’s for. Take control of your own health and understand your conditions. By listening to understand, you also realize what you do not understand and can make notes to ask questions after your physician has finished. Sometimes we go into a visit with a goal. For instance, if we have a sinus infection, we may want an antibiotic. Listening to respond might create a conflict when your physician does not feel an antibiotic is necessary. But listening to understand allows you the opportunity to understand why the physician feels an antibiotic is not appropriate for your condition and what else they may be able to do to help you.

Doctors

Try to stay in the moment rather than thinking of your next question. Listening to respond makes it difficult to put together the patient’s story into a coherent diagnosis and plan. Doctors must take the time to sit down, listen to the patient, understand why they are there, and what their expectations are for the visit. If you take the time to listen and understand, you can truly relate to the patient and treat them in their entirety rather than potentially missing the larger picture of what is ailing them.

Monitor your airtime and stay focused on the issues

Patients

Doctors certainly need to listen to understand, and this entails taking the time to let you talk. But doctors do have a time limit and need to treat other patients. Do your best to stick to the reason you made an appointment or went to the ER. I can’t tell you how many times I have had a patient start telling me about their friend’s illness, or their appendectomy 50 years ago, when they came because of a sprained ankle. While these stories may be important, many times they do not apply to the reason for the visit. So be cognizant of your airtime and focus on your current issues when you have your doctor’s attention. Give them information that you think is important to the situation, or your present physical or mental health. If they think there is any other important information, they will ask.

Doctors

You learned in medical school and in residency to sit down and listen to your patients. If you don’t interrupt, you are likely to get most of the information you need. That doesn’t mean you need to spend 20 minutes listening without questions. But a good 3-5 minutes without interruption is likely to get you most of the important information. As soon as you interject and hijack the conversation, you have potentially lost an important piece of information that the patient was about to tell you. Patients want and deserve to be heard. Take the time to listen and show patients that you care. It’s a small amount of time for a huge reward. You’ll know when it’s time to start asking questions. This is also not the time to be judgmental. If you stay focused on the issues at hand and have a thoughtful discussion with each patient, you have the best chance of making a difference in that person’s life.

Hold the variety of thoughts, experiences, and perspectives of others with care

Patients

I’ll be the first to say that not every doctor is created equal. As much as medicine is a science, it is also an art, and doctors will treat various patients in different ways. As stated in the first rule, we must presume positive intentions. Trust your physician’s thoughts and experiences and know that they are trying to give you the best care possible. However, if you feel uncomfortable with your doctor’s plan, know that you can always seek a second opinion. To find a great doctor, you can read this article.

Doctors

I can’t stress how important it is to be respectful of patient’s and their family’s thoughts and experiences that they feel are relevant to the patient’s care or illness. And take them into account in your treatment plan. If you completely ignore these, it’s unlikely that your patient is going to follow your treatment, and you could even miss something big because you are unwilling to discuss something that doesn’t seem relevant. If you don’t agree after a discussion, take the time to educate or create mutual understanding. This can go a long way toward a successful doctor-patient relationship.

Respect the agenda while maintaining flexibility for unforeseen issues

Patients

You certainly want the full attention of your doctor, but there are times when the doctor must leave the room for an emergency, or perhaps they get an important page. Though this is frustrating, understand that your doctor is trying the best to give you time while balancing all of the other patients in their practice, or in the ER or urgent care. At the same time, the doctor might recommend something that they feel is important that you do not want to do. For instance, perhaps you have a significant disease and your doctor feels you need admission to the hospital for treatment. You may not have been expecting this, but understand that your doctor is doing this in your best interest, so you should do your best to maintain some flexibility when it comes to your health.

Doctors

Your patient may have come in for foot pain, but you have now discovered that they are suffering from severe depression. This certainly changes the agenda and it is important to be flexible for these unforeseen issues. Don’t get frustrated or upset by the sudden derailment. Just think – you now get to truly help someone because you were able to discover a different more serious issue. What an honor!

Are there any other ground rules that can create a great doctor-patient relationship? Comment below.